Raising Helen

Yesterday I decided that it would be fun to invite my two nieces down to spend the night with me. One is sixteen and the other is thirteen. And of course with the younger one always comes her bff. So yesterday I picked the three girls up and brought them back to my house. We went swimming in the river, watched movies, ate Chinese food, played Monopoly, and laughed at everything.

I’ve also always wanted to be the “fun” aunt. Every summer since I started driving I’ve taken each of them out to see a movie of their choice, I’ve hosted sleepovers, and played dress up and video games. I gossip with them and tell them stupid jokes.

Watching them lie on my bed watching “Coraline” in 3-D, I thought of the movie “Raising Helen”. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of you haven’t seen it because it wasn’t a huge hit…it only grossed about 37.4 million at the box office. But it did have a pretty good story. Its title character Helen, played by the adorable Kate Hudson, is a successful twenty-something who loves her Manhattan, club hopping lifestyle. She has two sisters, who both have settled down and had children and Helen is the very definition of the “fun aunt”. When Helen’s sister and brother-in-law unexpectedly die in a car crash, everyone assumes the three kids will be entrusted to the older, more responsible sister. Instead, custody of the three kids goes to Helen. She struggles to assert her new role as their guardian and often does a poor job of remembering three children do not fit well into the fast paced lifestyle she had been leading. But somehow along the way she grows up and eventually she embraces the responsibility of being a parent to her nieces and nephew. Once again, in just 119 minutes, all is well.

I thought about this because, if tragedy struck my family, would I be able to care for my nieces and nephew? Am I adult enough to shape them in productive members of society or to disciple them when they act like fools? Would they even respect me enough to allow me to assume that role in their lives?

First of all, in real like I don’t think Helen would have been the first choice of guardian. She lived in a small Manhattan apartment, was probably not financially secure, and showed no signs of slowing or settling down. Her other sister, however, was happily married with two kids of her own, owned her own home, and was described as “supermom”.

I’m only 24 and still pretty selfish. I’m still in school and haven’t yet started my career. My brother and his wife would be a much more logical choice. But all that aside, I’ve decided that if I were faced with the decision to take in the kids or not, I would do it, and do it well. Here’s why: I first became an aunt when I was eight. From the first day I laid eyes on him, even at eight, all I wanted to do was protect him. And with the three girls that have followed (two from my sister and most recently one courtesy of my brother) the feeling has only grown. I worry about them, encourage them to do well in school and to be good and decent people, talk to them about things they don’t want to tell their parents about, and most importantly, I listen to them. I listen about their day at school, why their friends sometimes suck, what scares them, and what they want out of their life. I love them. Pure and simple. They make my life better just by being in it. I would give up everything I have to make sure they are safe and happy. And I think that as long that’s true, everything else will fall in behind it.

Sometimes movies are so far off from what would really happen it’s ridiculous. But sometimes, when you really stop to think about, it’s not so farfetched after all…….