Post Grad

“Post Grad” is a cute film that revolves around Ryden (played by Alexis Bledel) who has just graduated college and expects her new Bachelors degree to make all her dreams come true. Unfortunately, she doesn’t get the job she’s always wanted, the dream apartment falls through, and she has to move back in with her parents. After interviews for one crappy job after another, she winds up working at a luggage store for her dad. She’s miserable. Eventually though, she gets the call that the dream job has once again opened up. All is well as she gets what she wants.

Here’s the thing, our generation has grown up with EVERYONE (our parents, teachers, our friends, the media) telling us that the world is our oyster. We can “do anything we set our minds to”. We can do anything and be anything we want. We’ve been told these things since we were young and we’ve grown up believing it to be true. What they didn’t tell us is that while they were telling you and me, they were also telling the countless other kids our age the same thing. Why is that a problem? Because it’s impossible for me to get my dream job when 200,000 other people are trying to get it too.

We go through high school doing the best we can. We study hard, take the A.P. courses, become members of all the school clubs, and strive to do well on our SAT’s. We apply to college, decide on where to go and spend the next four years working toward the Holy Grail….a Bachelors degree.

But what happens when we get the degree? Well, then we go up against all the other college graduates who are trying to find a job with the right starting pay, in the right city, doing the right thing. It’s not easy. It doesn’t happen overnight. And even if we do find a job, chances are it’s not what you’ve always wanted to do. It’s working as a paralegal, or an assistant, or some other entry level job that none of us grew up ever thinking we would do. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with these jobs. It’s honest work and it pays the bills (some of them at least). But if we can “do whatever we set our minds to”, why are we doing these jobs instead of what we want?

Then comes the real shocker. In time our student loans come due. I’ve been talking to my dear best friend over at “Musings” and she has been telling me about her loans that she is set to pay back this summer……almost 50% of her take home pay! Are you kidding me? Who can afford half of their paycheck to go to just one bill? I don’t remember being told about the money our dreams were going to cost us. Shoot, if they would have told me I probably would have been a less expensive dream.

The bottom line is yes the opportunities are out there. If you work hard enough and WAIT LONG ENOUGH (that’s what the left out all those years ago) you can do just about whatever you want. But don’t forget that you are NOT defined by what you do, but who you are. Its way more important to be a good person and a productive member of society than it is to have a high powered career. So me? I’ll take my entry level job for now and enjoy my great family and fantastic friends.
And I’ll keep on watching those movies I love so much…..

Raising Helen

Yesterday I decided that it would be fun to invite my two nieces down to spend the night with me. One is sixteen and the other is thirteen. And of course with the younger one always comes her bff. So yesterday I picked the three girls up and brought them back to my house. We went swimming in the river, watched movies, ate Chinese food, played Monopoly, and laughed at everything.

I’ve also always wanted to be the “fun” aunt. Every summer since I started driving I’ve taken each of them out to see a movie of their choice, I’ve hosted sleepovers, and played dress up and video games. I gossip with them and tell them stupid jokes.

Watching them lie on my bed watching “Coraline” in 3-D, I thought of the movie “Raising Helen”. I wouldn’t be surprised if most of you haven’t seen it because it wasn’t a huge hit…it only grossed about 37.4 million at the box office. But it did have a pretty good story. Its title character Helen, played by the adorable Kate Hudson, is a successful twenty-something who loves her Manhattan, club hopping lifestyle. She has two sisters, who both have settled down and had children and Helen is the very definition of the “fun aunt”. When Helen’s sister and brother-in-law unexpectedly die in a car crash, everyone assumes the three kids will be entrusted to the older, more responsible sister. Instead, custody of the three kids goes to Helen. She struggles to assert her new role as their guardian and often does a poor job of remembering three children do not fit well into the fast paced lifestyle she had been leading. But somehow along the way she grows up and eventually she embraces the responsibility of being a parent to her nieces and nephew. Once again, in just 119 minutes, all is well.

I thought about this because, if tragedy struck my family, would I be able to care for my nieces and nephew? Am I adult enough to shape them in productive members of society or to disciple them when they act like fools? Would they even respect me enough to allow me to assume that role in their lives?

First of all, in real like I don’t think Helen would have been the first choice of guardian. She lived in a small Manhattan apartment, was probably not financially secure, and showed no signs of slowing or settling down. Her other sister, however, was happily married with two kids of her own, owned her own home, and was described as “supermom”.

I’m only 24 and still pretty selfish. I’m still in school and haven’t yet started my career. My brother and his wife would be a much more logical choice. But all that aside, I’ve decided that if I were faced with the decision to take in the kids or not, I would do it, and do it well. Here’s why: I first became an aunt when I was eight. From the first day I laid eyes on him, even at eight, all I wanted to do was protect him. And with the three girls that have followed (two from my sister and most recently one courtesy of my brother) the feeling has only grown. I worry about them, encourage them to do well in school and to be good and decent people, talk to them about things they don’t want to tell their parents about, and most importantly, I listen to them. I listen about their day at school, why their friends sometimes suck, what scares them, and what they want out of their life. I love them. Pure and simple. They make my life better just by being in it. I would give up everything I have to make sure they are safe and happy. And I think that as long that’s true, everything else will fall in behind it.

Sometimes movies are so far off from what would really happen it’s ridiculous. But sometimes, when you really stop to think about, it’s not so farfetched after all…….

Marley and Me

I'm sure by now all of you have seen the movie (or read the book) Marley and Me. It's all the things that make for a good film. It's honest and funny, relatable, has moments that make you feel all warm and fuzzy and moments that pull at the heartstrings. In the movie an attractive couple, played by Jen Aniston and Owen Wilson, adopt what they call "the world's worst dog". Marley is flawed but loveable. He eats and chews on everything, including the drywall. He's impossible to train as his attention span is short and his energy is everlasting. But they love him. He is a part of their family. Their kids grow up with Marley as their furry big brother.

Then comes the part in the movie I always find tough to watch. Marley gets old and as with people, old age brings health problems. The family is forced to make the heart wrenching decision to get rid of Marley's pain and put him down. It was the last gift they could give him.

I come from a family of dog lovers. We always had at least one furry friend as kids and now that my sister, brother, and I are older, we've all adopted dogs into our families. Watching that scene in the film made me hug my dogs tightly and pray that that day would be very far off in the future. No pet owner wants to think of the day that they have to bury their best friend.

A couple of weeks ago, though, that day arrived for me. My very spoiled and very loving chihuahua mix, Layla, ventured out in the road for the first time in her short life and a careless driver hit her. I watched it happened, feeling totally powerless and utterly hopeless. She didn't suffer and it's a comfort to know that at least one dog in the world was loved and taken care of.

At this point in the movie version of life, things would fast forward a couple months. The screen would go black and in white letters it would say "Six Months Later...” The shot would be of the outside of the house and it would slowly tighten, taking us through the front window and into the family room. There we would see the family sitting around, enjoying each other's company. Suddenly, a puppy bursts through the doorway and heads straight for the kids that are playing on the floor. All is well as the family has coped with the loss of their dog and found room in their hearts for another.

Unfortunately, time doesn't fast forward though all the hard parts of life. We all have to find ways to deal with our grief, disappointment, and sadness. That's what I'm trying to do....deal with the loss of one of my best pals while I try to shower my surviving dog, Becky, with all the love she deserves. I can't wait until I finally get to the "six months later". Until then, I'm going to keep watching my movies……

Opening Credits

I LOVE movies. It's almost a sickness. It's just not normal. I go to the movie theater often and I buy DVDs by the stack. It's getting out of control. My collection is currently much closer to one thousand than it is to one hundred and I'm quickly running out to shelf space to store them all. Sometimes I watch the same movie over and over again (sometimes in the same day).
I love how movies allow you to get lost in their world. By the end of a ninety minute film, the viewer usually leaves feeling satisfied because all the problems and issues were resolved and the character whose life they've been living is happy. I often find myself saying, "God, right now my life is like a scene right out of....." The problem is my issues don't usually resolve in ninety minutes and my friends and I don’t go out looking as fabulous and Carrie and the gang. If only life were a movie.....